Wednesday, August 11, 2010


I stand here at this crossroads and I can see so many ways to turn. In some ways I am bound, not because of physical chains but by limitations. If only I could somehow grasp everything that I need to do all at once, grasp and know it all and then rest, oh how I need to rest!

I'm on a cycle, study, stumble, walk a bit and then I fall down. How pathetic I feel sometimes... and yet that is not the entire story either, I'm determined... at least to keep going. Really, no one's going to be able to tell me how great I am, that's not what I want to hear. I want stare up at the stars at night and wonder, "what's out there?" When I am alone I want to be able to hear my own thoughts, be guided by the wisdom of the universe.

I want to feel new, excited and clean again!

I want to look at a beautiful painting and to say "I like that!" or not. To feel that life if mostly undiscovered and that I have time to discover it... yet I am trapped in the expediency of concentration, though I can't concentrate, and lamintation... though really, what is there to lament? Yet I do, and I wonder what next? If all I can do is wind around in circles trying to catch my tail than what good is all of this anyway?

Yet what else can I do? What else? Give up?

For the sake of all goodness, don't give me any advice... I already know that I can do it. I'm just tired...


  1. time for you to come for a visit!

  2. Annie
    keep loving the mountains, rivers and wilderness. It will see you through to the next stage.

  3. Grrl, that would be so nice!

    Rick, Thanks for stopping by, I'm gonna have to stop by your spot and see what you've been up to.