Here I stand, a saint, a martyr, either a stalwart or a fool.
The ultimate question, is there a God? I ask this to myself every day.
I have believed, I have believed and yes I have found thee before.
Limitations, and power, wielding desire. Silent battles of will, silent authorship of my soul.
What talents, what blessings, what sacrifices for me? I am blind yet I walk, and I cannot see.
Yes the answers are there, they are. Yet each day I wonder is this trial deep enough? has the bottom been hit? How foolish I am Lord, I am, I am.
Talisman, holy water, sacred sachets of old, if I hold them tight enough I may break through the barriers to luck and prosperity. Find those hidden wells of knowledge and become the un-bendable saint.
Play by the rules, yet the rules are often wrong, how foolish to be strict in that way.
Yet the straight and the narrow way, lead to thee. Straight and narrow, not turning to one side nor the other.
Tell me then, when my reason is not foolishness, when my understanding is complete, when I, I am a saint.