Tuesday, July 7, 2009


I thought when I saw you, that you liked me, intriguing, I continue as though you're not there.

Introductions, "nice to meet you," I smile, a grin, my hand you grasp with a stare.


Chance encounters, chance? Ah yes we both know, the excuses.

"How are you?" You ask me, "Fine, fine, can't complain" and we rush off again, we both know, ah yes.

Excuses, excuses

Then we talk, more and a bit more, until the habit is there I'm aware.

Fresh soap, pressed linen, scents that linger, I remember.

Your voice fills my head, fills my head.

Full of you, full, I cannot escape and I wonder.

Am I rash? Am I foolish? To let you in so.

Yet you grip me, you grip and control and I know that I'm falling, falling away.

From sanity, sane, what's happened to me?

You, you

Where am I?

I don't know

Give me breath, give me air, give me time

You cannot

So trembling, I'll try to let go.

(Take it slow)

*Pout, this is not romantic, but it is how the poem came out. I'll have to try again. ;D


  1. Really? Not romantic? It felt like a relentless fall and that's not always so bad. I enjoyed it.

  2. Thanks for the comment Erin, I don't know why this came out like it did (or do I and I am not admitting it, mystery). ;D

  3. I like it when serendipity plays a role in relationships.

    Are you sure you'll try again?


  4. SG- I thought it was wonderful. I loved how the thoughts were full in sentence early on and then how they became quick breaths in rush near the end. That's romantic! and the first line-
    "I thought when I saw you"
    is brilliant and immediately draws one onto the story. Lovely. ~rick

  5. Most enjoyable to read. kepp up the good work.

  6. I love this poem. poetry is not all about romance or romance does not always have to be mushy lovey dovey LOL

    I Loved IT

  7. WOW thank you all for the response. I guess this piece is a bit more realistic about how things go in a relationship than the fantisized lovey dovey stuff of fairy tales. But yes Z I will try again (at a different time). I have an interesting idea...

  8. This is fantastic! A great read! Yes, as Rick pointed out, it is structure that takes most of the credit! Keep writing SG!!!

  9. Yes, I have to agree with your other commenters. It's a great piece and perfectly captures that almost helpless feeling we have when we're overwhelmed by a new desire. Yeah... perfectly captured. Well done and beautiful.